Step 15: Never Trust Anything with Liam Neeson in It

Quick Points

Liam Neeson
A jerk as usual.

Special Effects
I am VERY picky when it comes to CGI, but if it's done well, it can take a movie to another level. I applaud you, A Monster Calls.

Really a Kid's Movie?
Heck no! It's rated PG-13 people! Just because the main character's a little boy doesn't mean that this movie was marketed towards children!

Cry Factor
If you're not crying by the end of the movie, you're heartless.

Liam Neeson! Why must you ruin everything you touch! Actually... if we're being fair, he did a pretty good job voicing the monster in J.A. Bayona's A Monster Calls. His deep, gravely voice was almost as good Treebeard's for The Lord of the Rings. But his character was sort of harsh.

That was the whole point of the movie, though. If the monster hadn't pushed Conor (Lewis MacDougall) to his breaking point, the boy never would have been able to reveal what was truly in his heart. And as they say, the truth will set you free. Or make you ball your eyes out. Whatever.

The trailers don't do A Monster Calls justice. They make you think the story's about a boy who needs to overcome bullying, or learn to be a man, or take responsibility, or any other cliche coming of age lesson. In actuality, it's the story about dealing with loss, and if you go into the movie unprepared for that, you're going to have a bad day. Looking back on the message, though, you can see that it's a good one supported by a strong story. While I wouldn't recommend paying the money to cry in public, renting it for a private movie night at home with lots of tissues could be very cathartic.

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What did you think of the movie? Comment below!

Step 14: Moana Should Have Been Better than Frozen

Quick Points

Vs. Other Disney Princesses
 "I am NOT a princess!" "If you wear a dress and have an animal sidekick, you're a princess."

Number of Disney References
Four. And that was just in one song.

Vs. Lilo and Stitch
Initial gut reaction - I like this one better. I enjoyed both of them for unique reasons, but as a whole, Disney's let down the Hawaiian Archipelago.

Future Disney World Ride
Splash Mountain will be renamed Maui's Plunge.


I loved loved LOVED the ending of this movie. But for how much I loved the ending, I "mehed" the rest of it. Like any other Disney Princess movie, Moana is the strong-willed daughter of a ruling family who undergo some sort of tragedy that threatens their people. Moana steps up and leaves the safety of her home to find a hero to save them.

Of course, in today's society where women can do anything that men can do, Moana's search not only leads her to the hammy, and at times useless, Maui, but also to the strength that's been inside her all along. And while it's an incredibly beautiful revelation song, Frozen's already done it. Heck, even Mulan showed us that we don't need to be a well trained man to save the empire!

The thing that makes up for the typical story line is the villain. Te Ka is the best, most natural villain in the Disney Princess universe. While every other villain has their place in Starkids' "Twisted," Te Ka's reason for terrorizing the Polynesian islands is completely justified and can't be made fun of. Plus, you get an intense battle scene followed by chilling yet delicate song. So, while Moana was not as good as I was hoping for, the ending alone makes it a must-see for every Disney fan. Maybe just wait until it comes to Red Box.

What did you think of the movie? Comment below!

Step 13: Lucky 13

Quick Points

Soundtrack/Score
So... much... country... gonna... die....

Favorite Line
There were so many! I'd have to go with the simplest one, though, spoken by Tanner right before an epic beat-down: "Boy, you'd think there were ten of me."

Cops vs. Robbers
The brothers are committing a crime, so they should be caught, but you like them. You want to hate the cops for going after the brothers, but you like them too!

Should it be Nominated for an Oscar?
YESOHMYGODYES!


I never would have watched this movie had my Papa not noted it on a list of potential Oscar nominees. Even at that, it was third on our list for movie night, trailing way behind Magnificent 7 and Manchester by the Sea by the mere fact that I'd at least heard of those movies. This is the movie that's going to fall through the cracks, and boy, does it deserve a much better fate than that.

David Mackenzie's Hell or High Water is the perfect mix of your cliche Robin Hood story, modern day social issues, action-packed violence, and witty banter. The tale of two brothers robbing small-town banks in an attempt to save the family farm from those very banks is not unheard of, but Ben Foster and Chris Pine actually make you care about the struggles the Howard brothers are going through. And Jeff Bridges and Gil Bermingham make you care about the Texas Rangers, so when the final shootout comes you don't know who to root for!

The writers gave us a great story line that while at times was predictable still gave you a few good shocks that called for a rewind, and on top of that they managed to squeeze in plenty of laugh-out-loud moments. So if you can't get behind the bank robberies, you can still enjoy Bridges and Bermingham insulting each other in ways that only partners on the force can. Don't let the country scare you away from this film. While the songs all sound the same, every scene offers you something new.

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